My Learning of Directive Communication – Emotional Drive

For my team & I to succeed, having the right set of skills is just not enough. Our attitude makes all the difference – from simple mastery of skill to self-actualization, to create the drive in us and cultivate the ability to achieve the highest levels of excellence and success in whatever we do.

The Pyramid of Commitment – For a cohesive workforce, there must be a cohesive attitude that will help us support each other and not work as a collection of individuals, but as a group with a purpose. The Cause, or greater purpose will help us to experience fulfilment at work.

Communication Influence – The emotional gratification the other person experiences will determine other people’s resistance to my influence – whether there is: 1) No resistance – when the communication fulfils the person’s emotional drivers, or 2) Internal rebellion – when the communication goes against primary emotional drives, or 3) External rebellion – when the communication goes against the person’s core values.

Human Driving Forces – Our brain feels some 30,000 times faster than it acts, and it acts about 30,000 times faster than it reasons – which means that I feel and act long before I even start to reason. This means that I often react to my negative emotions without reasoning and sometimes, my reactions will bring temporary gratification or relief of pain from my negative emotions. And, because I get temporary gratification or relief, I develop patterns of reactions to my negative emotions, which can be counter-productive. Rules of engagement – i.e. when I encounter a specific situation, I react in a specific way. These rules are created out of trying to avoid emotional pain. For me to act “intelligently,” I must reason rather than just react to rules – this will allow me to “direct” my motivations and driving forces in order for me to make better decisions.

The Iceberg of Perception – The things that I do and want are not necessarily as they appear. My decisions and my motivations are often only the conscious justifications of what I really want deep down inside. My reactions are for “self-preservation” and these reactions do not come from my conscious mind, but from my subconscious drive to fulfil my emotional needs. The real underlying reason for my reactions is to avoid pain, or gain pleasure. There are times when I may not like what someone at work is doing, or saying, but I do not voice out my dissatisfaction, or my disagreement simply because it might jeopardise my job i.e. my sense of security.

The Eight Human Drivers – are fundamental and are present in each person. But, they do not have equal importance for each person. And, they are achieved in different ways by different persons. Every individual has a different order of importance for these eight drivers and we are constantly filling them – either in positive, neutral or negative ways. The ranking of these drivers can change with time:

1)      Belonging/Love

2)     Security/Control

3)     Diversity/Change

4)     Recognition/Significance

5)     Achievement

6)     Challenge/Growth

7)     Excellence

8)    Responsibility/Contribution



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